Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween Fun 2010

H's first Halloween we all got dressed up and trick-or-treated our way through my parent's neighborhood. It was fun for T who kept saying "I love going to people's houses but my legs hurt!" At least he was worn out by the time we got done!

Then it was time for our usual Halloween pizza dinner. Actually, it's just pizza but it's a tradition I started when T was just a few months old at his first Halloween. Enjoy our family pic, it's the first one we've all had together since Easter and I love it!

Dinner

The other night we had dinner with my parents. The boys love to see them even if it's for a short time. So we all headed over to Steak & Shake to grab a yummy dinner.




My little munchkins just love it all and I love being with them through it all :)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Crawling or Walking?

Little munchkin has decided that crawling just isn't quite good enough. At this age we are still working off the premie time-line which means he hasn't quite reached the 9 month mark yet, though in real-time he just turned 10 months. Confused yet?

Anyways, H began really booking it around the house oh, last week. He follows us wherever he goes. The gate is now part of the household attire and part of the squish-your-face-on-it-because-I'm-really-sad-that-mommy-is-in-the-next-room routine. Tuesday I found him sitting comfortable on his knees trying to reach some things on a higher shelf. The next thing I knew H was pulling himself up on me and the automan. Too much too soon for this mommy! At this rate he'll be walking before his first birthday. Be still my heart.

Forgive the blurriness due to his active movement, but you've got the picture to prove he's well on his way to chasing his big brother around!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Realization

After several days of freak outs over a specific situation, with God's help, I've had clarity today. Laying it all out for him to take care of took a lot. I still have no idea where it's going to go, but FINALLY giving it to him, not just saying it, but truly doing it feels good. He's the one who honestly and truly keeps everything in order, even when it seems to all be chaos.

Part of the clarity has brought a realization. I'm not comfortable with speaking of how I came about the realization, but it popped into my head after mulling something over. Over the course of my life, I have felt quite comfortable with my decisions. Some decisions come rather quickly, others come after weighing all the options.

Throughout my life there have been many key moments where I have questioned my decisions due to an outside influence and changed my mind. Looking back if the decision had been stuck to, certain aspects of my life would be different. Well now, I need to get back to my gut feelings. I put God into every aspect of my life and decisions so in a way I am doubting Him when I go back on decisions and feelings. Its time to trust God in everything!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

An Artist in the Making

Little T has always been slightly ahead of the game with his fine motor skills. Albeit I have been quite reluctant with scissors, so he has some catching up to do in that area. Which by the way, he is more than willing to take on.

In the meantime, he has taken his love of drawing to an all new level. Here is one small piece of his masterpiece in our bedroom. Mind you, his drawing ALL over each wall in our bedroom was connected by a "road"...which we realized was connected to more drawings in the hallway. His intent of connecting them to his bedroom as well was thankfully thwarted early enough.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My two pumpkins

Having two boys now makes me happy on so many levels. One of them is the sheer fact that I can dress them identical, even though they are 3 1/2 years apart. At some point T will out grow it all together, but until then I'm going to get as much in as possible.

Here are my two amazing, God sent, pumpkins!

Monday, October 18, 2010

A walk can tell a story

About a week ago, my hubby's "new" (new to us) truck's brakes went out on his way home. Thank the Lord He brought him home safely. Since then we are down to one vehicle again. Honestly, I'm more than okay with one vehicle. It's only been two months where we've had two in well over 4 years. The only concern is having to take T to his speech therapy twice a week at the school for half an hour.

Instead of taking hubby to work, I got out of my comfort zone and decided to take the double stroller on a walk. With half an hour before having to be at the school, I loaded up the kiddos in the stroller, said a prayer of safety and marched down the street. H loves the outdoors but in the area we live in (break-ins during the day light hours too) I'm not too enthusiastic about hanging out outside.

T shouted, "This is a great idea Mommy! Let's get an Icee afterwards!" Though the Icee sounded perfect, it was in the opposite direction and on a busy street. Instead we did make it to the school 20 minutes early so we headed directly across the street to Walgreens and purchased a sprite. H on the other hand held onto the cup holders with his cute little fingers and laughed the whole way there.

While waiting for T to get done, H played with his toys in the stroller, laughed at kids and adults walking by and I so thankfully finished writing a test for my students. We headed home and I am so thankful for the fresh air, time with my kiddos away from the house, getting some much needed exercise (which I am paying for already--but will get better over time) and getting more accomplished than normal. Most importantly I always feel very refreshed by God while I'm outside in nature.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

This Weekend

This weekend we spent a lot of time together! How I love seeing all my boys at the same time and it's all quality plus quantity. "Heart!"

This weekend I began watching the Food, Inc movie. After the first few minutes it showed some little baby chicks going up a conveyer belt in a factory and then drop off. Though I was watching it while T was playing he stopped for a second to see the tv and almost began crying. Promptly the tv was turned off and my hubby and I watched the show together later. Afterwards we both vowed to eat healthier and change the food we buy. Once we are able to actually afford to do so, we will be purchasing locally grown and bred (organic) meat and veggies. In our next house a garden will go in as well. I remember reading The Jungle in high school English class and somewhat thought of this in the same terms. There is something wrong with the way food is going about being processed and it just isn't healthy. It's hard enough to stop eating sugar and fat, but add other chemicals to foods, no wonder our health is in dire need of help!

This weekend I caught up and fell behind and caught up again on laundry. It's all nicely washed and folded again, but will need to be put away tomorrow.

This weekend I finished two assignments of oh 13. Yea, still have a ways to go. That doesn't count the two whole classes I've done nothing with but listen to the Bible on ITunes.

This weekend my little 9 month old H has begun to book it all over the house. He's now too fast for me to leisurely get up from the couch and get him before he gets into something. The gates are up, the toys are arranged to keep him squared in and big brother has no problem letting me know when H is up to no good :) This is where the energy for myself really needs to start flowing and where I know my daily exercise will increase.

This weekend I also realized that the "no" and light booty tap (really light because those cloth diapers are quite thick) is coming back to the household. Laying the foundation of consistency now before H gets too old will make for a much easier and smoother ride in the future. Because then all I have to do is have "that look" and he'll know. Of course at the age of T I'm having to restructure discipline slightly. He is a huge structure boy. If things are changed slightly, he breaks down. So I have to keep things as consistent as possible. Nap time at 2pm--any later then the rest of the evening is chaotic.

Speaking of sleep, I must get some! Love the quiet of the house at this time of night, but I've got to have energy to enjoy the kiddos in the morning :)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Refreshing

Though I would have much rather curl up and hide in the house last night with the insurmountable heaviness I was feeling, little T wanted to go to church. He loves it and I would have it no other way. Yet I was just in too much pain and numbness to go.

So I packed the kiddos up, since my hubby needed to be home to rest for the over time he was blessed to get this week! (Yea!) Dropped the kiddos off at their respective places and headed to service. I got my coffee, talked to a colleague and then awaited what I hoped (but wasn't sure) would be a refreshing.

Thankfully, God worked in the praise and worship part of the service. I was ready for the message! God had other ideas and used the songs and His presence there as my refreshing. Baby H decided that his teething and usual snuggle time with Mommy was just too important for the nursery workers. I headed down to a sobbing H and took him to the foyer. We snuggled, we played with his toys, we listened to white noise and then just gave up. His big brother wasn't quite done in class but we still picked him up early.

I am really thankful that even though I wasn't 'there' for the message that God still helped to refresh me. The things and circumstances haven't disappeared or gotten better...yet...but His hand in my life is still there. Just needed to hear it from Him.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Broken

These past few months has been one of the most trying times in my life. I feel deconstructed, pulled apart, crumbled and the list could go on. So many things have gone on and I try so hard to just wrangle it all in, but it's wearing down on me, majorly.

I feel alone. I feel like what happens in my life is so inconsequential to what others are going through yet I'm broken. I can't think clearly. My imagination has always been quite active which I think helps out a lot in studying and my daily life. Yet I can barely read two pages of my textbooks. I barely dream anymore at night.

Our life is falling apart financially. The bills are mounting and there is absolutely NO room in our budget for food or gas for the cars or emergencies. There are times where I just cry because I "thought" that I'm doing everything I'm suppose to. So I even question God. Why am I here? My purpose seems to have vanished. I'm struggling and I'm alone, even though I'm not because of my dear hubby. But life goes on, even when I'm not sure what the next moment will bring.