Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Broken

These past few months has been one of the most trying times in my life. I feel deconstructed, pulled apart, crumbled and the list could go on. So many things have gone on and I try so hard to just wrangle it all in, but it's wearing down on me, majorly.

I feel alone. I feel like what happens in my life is so inconsequential to what others are going through yet I'm broken. I can't think clearly. My imagination has always been quite active which I think helps out a lot in studying and my daily life. Yet I can barely read two pages of my textbooks. I barely dream anymore at night.

Our life is falling apart financially. The bills are mounting and there is absolutely NO room in our budget for food or gas for the cars or emergencies. There are times where I just cry because I "thought" that I'm doing everything I'm suppose to. So I even question God. Why am I here? My purpose seems to have vanished. I'm struggling and I'm alone, even though I'm not because of my dear hubby. But life goes on, even when I'm not sure what the next moment will bring.

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